In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
"The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar."
- Proverbs 19:22
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Andrea's Love Dare- Day 1
Today's challenge was all about being patient and kind to our spouses, the scripture being James 1:19.
I have always felt that one of my God given gifts was that of patience, well that is, unless I'm driving. But that's a different story for a different time! Anyway, I think of myself as a very patient person seeing as I am slow to anger, and more than willing most of the time to wait for things I want. That said, my wonderful husband, whom I LOVE, does try my patience at times. He is such a sweet man, but he absolutely loves to tease. It's a form of endearment to him. If he feels comfortable around you, he teases you. I grew up much younger than my other four siblings (my brother is almost 8 years my senior, and is the 2nd youngest) and they never really teased me. I was just the baby that they spoiled! So my husband, being the teaser that he is, can easily get on my nerves. I know he just does it because he loves me, and thinks it's funny/cute to get a reaction out of me, but I sometimes find myself snapping at him, or flicking him, or doing something to make him stop! So today, I just tried to be slow to anger. I didn't react when he did certain things, I just smiled and kissed his hand instead! This was not my main area of focus today though. Like I said, I feel like I am, overall, a pretty patient person.
My main emphasis today was on being "slow to speak," as it says in the verse in James. As most women, I love to indulge in a little gossip now and then. I have a few people I tell almost everything to, but one person in particular is like my venting buddy! If anything in life is not going our way, we vent to each other about it. She and I talk almost daily, and there usually ends up being at least one conversation a week about something that our husbands did that made us mad. Now, last night, my husband did something that kind of ticked me off a little, but I knew it wasn't on purpose. This person and I talked for over an hour and a half, and I didn't bring this topic up once. I very easily could have gone off on a tangent about how I annoyed I was at what Tyler had done, but instead we talked about other things. I found that by not talking bad about him, I got over this little bump much faster. I was able to forget, and move on, instead of letting that dictate my attitude for the day.
It was a wonderful day, and I felt like we had a greater peace in our home, simply because of a little attitude adjustment on my part. I was able to enjoy my time with him more so than if I had been concentrating on the night before. Although I didn't feel like this day was particularly challenging, it did bring awareness to what should really be important to me, and what I should spend my time thinking and talking about. It was a wonderful first day, and I am excited for tomorrow!
I have always felt that one of my God given gifts was that of patience, well that is, unless I'm driving. But that's a different story for a different time! Anyway, I think of myself as a very patient person seeing as I am slow to anger, and more than willing most of the time to wait for things I want. That said, my wonderful husband, whom I LOVE, does try my patience at times. He is such a sweet man, but he absolutely loves to tease. It's a form of endearment to him. If he feels comfortable around you, he teases you. I grew up much younger than my other four siblings (my brother is almost 8 years my senior, and is the 2nd youngest) and they never really teased me. I was just the baby that they spoiled! So my husband, being the teaser that he is, can easily get on my nerves. I know he just does it because he loves me, and thinks it's funny/cute to get a reaction out of me, but I sometimes find myself snapping at him, or flicking him, or doing something to make him stop! So today, I just tried to be slow to anger. I didn't react when he did certain things, I just smiled and kissed his hand instead! This was not my main area of focus today though. Like I said, I feel like I am, overall, a pretty patient person.
My main emphasis today was on being "slow to speak," as it says in the verse in James. As most women, I love to indulge in a little gossip now and then. I have a few people I tell almost everything to, but one person in particular is like my venting buddy! If anything in life is not going our way, we vent to each other about it. She and I talk almost daily, and there usually ends up being at least one conversation a week about something that our husbands did that made us mad. Now, last night, my husband did something that kind of ticked me off a little, but I knew it wasn't on purpose. This person and I talked for over an hour and a half, and I didn't bring this topic up once. I very easily could have gone off on a tangent about how I annoyed I was at what Tyler had done, but instead we talked about other things. I found that by not talking bad about him, I got over this little bump much faster. I was able to forget, and move on, instead of letting that dictate my attitude for the day.
It was a wonderful day, and I felt like we had a greater peace in our home, simply because of a little attitude adjustment on my part. I was able to enjoy my time with him more so than if I had been concentrating on the night before. Although I didn't feel like this day was particularly challenging, it did bring awareness to what should really be important to me, and what I should spend my time thinking and talking about. It was a wonderful first day, and I am excited for tomorrow!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Kellsi's Love Dare - Day 1
"Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:"
- James 1:19
I consider myself to be a very patient person in most circumstances, but for some reason, when it comes to my husband, my patience is cut short. I don't really know why, and I know there is no excuse for it...I just need to change.
I will admit that this morning, this first challenge seemed to be just that...a challenge. Although I wasn't being impatient or unkind to Ryan, I wasn't really acting like a loving wife either.
I've noticed that I tend to use a tone of voice with him that can be harsh and make me seem irritated or annoyed even if nothing is wrong!...Wtf is that all about?! Lol...He's come to me on several occasions saying that he feels like I'm annoyed by him, and until now, I haven't understood why that is...Again, I know there is NO excuse for this behavior, however, thinking about my family relationships growing up, this is how most of us (there were 7 of us total) spoke to each other on a regular basis...I guess this is just something I need to nip in the bud RIGHT now, because not only do I hate that Ryan has to listen to me speak to him in that manner, but, I don't want Scarlet or any of our other future children to get that negative trait from me. I don't want our kids to speak like that to us, each other, or their future spouses!
Today, Ryan worked from 9:30 to 5:30 so I really didn't have to watch myself much when it came to today's love dare. However, I did make a few changes to my attitude when he got home from work...Instead of being upset that he was going to go play soccer on a moments notice (btw, he invited Scarlet and I to come watch, which is something he never really thinks about doing!), I willingly, and happily, told him we'd go watch him play. Not only that, but, I actually goofed off in the car with him, dancing like an idiot to the music we were listening to (something I USED to do all the time, being care free and acting like a dork, but for some reason haven't allowed myself to really do anymore...I miss being like that!!)....Scarlet and I stayed and watched for about an hour, but, we needed to get some grocery shopping done and the poor girl was SO tired. Ryan got a ride from a teammate and I ended up making him a pretty good chicken alfredo dinner (which he was VERY appreciative of!)...I've also noticed that our two huskies irritate me a LOT...They do little things that just know how to push my buttons and send me off my rocker lol, and if I get mad at them, then sometimes my feelings from whatever happened carry over into my following conversations (like if I'm peeved at them and irritable and he asks me a question I tend to snap at him, etc)...well, one of these things happened tonight but instead of snapping at my hubby like it would've been so easy to do. I stopped. Took a breath. Relaxed. And THEN answered his question....Wow, it really works! Now he wants to go cuddle lol (again, not something we really do much of anymore!)...
So, I have completed day 1 of the love dare challenge and I think it went well. I know it's put ME in a much better mood all day, and I think Ryan's appreciated it as well and that makes me feel good! I hope the rest of you will have as much fortune with it that I had today!
- James 1:19
I consider myself to be a very patient person in most circumstances, but for some reason, when it comes to my husband, my patience is cut short. I don't really know why, and I know there is no excuse for it...I just need to change.
I will admit that this morning, this first challenge seemed to be just that...a challenge. Although I wasn't being impatient or unkind to Ryan, I wasn't really acting like a loving wife either.
I've noticed that I tend to use a tone of voice with him that can be harsh and make me seem irritated or annoyed even if nothing is wrong!...Wtf is that all about?! Lol...He's come to me on several occasions saying that he feels like I'm annoyed by him, and until now, I haven't understood why that is...Again, I know there is NO excuse for this behavior, however, thinking about my family relationships growing up, this is how most of us (there were 7 of us total) spoke to each other on a regular basis...I guess this is just something I need to nip in the bud RIGHT now, because not only do I hate that Ryan has to listen to me speak to him in that manner, but, I don't want Scarlet or any of our other future children to get that negative trait from me. I don't want our kids to speak like that to us, each other, or their future spouses!
Today, Ryan worked from 9:30 to 5:30 so I really didn't have to watch myself much when it came to today's love dare. However, I did make a few changes to my attitude when he got home from work...Instead of being upset that he was going to go play soccer on a moments notice (btw, he invited Scarlet and I to come watch, which is something he never really thinks about doing!), I willingly, and happily, told him we'd go watch him play. Not only that, but, I actually goofed off in the car with him, dancing like an idiot to the music we were listening to (something I USED to do all the time, being care free and acting like a dork, but for some reason haven't allowed myself to really do anymore...I miss being like that!!)....Scarlet and I stayed and watched for about an hour, but, we needed to get some grocery shopping done and the poor girl was SO tired. Ryan got a ride from a teammate and I ended up making him a pretty good chicken alfredo dinner (which he was VERY appreciative of!)...I've also noticed that our two huskies irritate me a LOT...They do little things that just know how to push my buttons and send me off my rocker lol, and if I get mad at them, then sometimes my feelings from whatever happened carry over into my following conversations (like if I'm peeved at them and irritable and he asks me a question I tend to snap at him, etc)...well, one of these things happened tonight but instead of snapping at my hubby like it would've been so easy to do. I stopped. Took a breath. Relaxed. And THEN answered his question....Wow, it really works! Now he wants to go cuddle lol (again, not something we really do much of anymore!)...
So, I have completed day 1 of the love dare challenge and I think it went well. I know it's put ME in a much better mood all day, and I think Ryan's appreciated it as well and that makes me feel good! I hope the rest of you will have as much fortune with it that I had today!
Love Dare Challenge - Day 1
The first part of this dare is fairly simple.
Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.
"Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:"
- James 1:19
Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.
"Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:"
- James 1:19
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Amen to Kellsi
I, like Kellsi, am trying to improve my relationship with my husband by first improving myself and my relationship with God. My husband, Tyler, is not what you'd call a "romantic," but what he is, is a loving, caring, fun husband and father. Before I met, and married my husband, I had a 3 1/2 year long relationship with another young man. We had a young, "can't get enough of you," kind of lovend he was a hopeless romantic. I find myself comparing my relationship now, to my relationship with my ex, but I feel as though Tyler and I have simply become too comfortable with each other in our marriage. We continue to do nice things for each other, but the so called, "spark" and that beginning excitement has been replaced by long nights, and busy schedules.
I feel as though unrealistic expectations have been placed on men in the world, and that women (including myself) have an idealistic version in our heads of what the "perfect man" is, and what they should be doing for us. I see this daily on facebook and pinterest. "A perfect man is"...fill in the blank. My husband is not "the perfect man," but I am by no means a perfect wife either. All I can do it accept and love him for him, as he does for me. This is my journey to learning a better, different, kind of love; a more Godlike love.
I feel as though unrealistic expectations have been placed on men in the world, and that women (including myself) have an idealistic version in our heads of what the "perfect man" is, and what they should be doing for us. I see this daily on facebook and pinterest. "A perfect man is"...fill in the blank. My husband is not "the perfect man," but I am by no means a perfect wife either. All I can do it accept and love him for him, as he does for me. This is my journey to learning a better, different, kind of love; a more Godlike love.
What's this blog all about?...
2 best friends, married, with kids, coming together to create a blog that will help us track our thoughts, lives, and progress on our journeys to learning how to love...better...
We both have felt like something is "lacking" in our relationships with our husbands, and we think it's because we ourselves as wives, need to learn a different, and possibly, better way to love the most important men in our lives!
I don't know about Andrea (I'll give her a chance to talk about it herself), but for me, I think a lot of my relationship "problems" has to do with my attitude. I've realized that most of the time I expect WAY too much out of my husband when it comes to love and romance. I see all these people around me getting married and how madly and happily in love they are and I think "why can't I have that? We used to be like that once upon a time!" I see friends with their husbands/boyfriends and see how sweet or romantic their guys are to them...I think the worst is Facebook...Girls posting all these beautiful pictures of them with their significant others, or writing posts about how amazing they are...But, I've come to realize that comparing my husband to all these other guys is NOT helping either of us out one little bit! In fact, if anything, it just makes things worse because instead of see all the wonderful things my husband DOES do for me, I see all the things he doesn't, or isn't doing and then feel sorry for myself for not having this fairytale romance.
Reality is, I have a great husband, he does so many things for me and he tries to show his love for me, just maybe not the way I've been expecting!! We do have a great marriage, we ARE in love, and I CAN get that "madly in love" feeling back, I just need to change my attitude and try MY hardest to show my husband my love for him...
Have any of you seen the movie "Fireproof"? If not, you should. I'm not going to sit here and explain the movie...In the movie there is this thing called the "Love Dare" and was a way for a man to create a better relationship with his wife. He did the love dare challenge over 40 days (well, he went on to do more on his own) and it greatly improved his marriage...Well, I found the Love Dare in an app and downloaded it to my iPod and, well, Andrea and I are going to do this for our husbands!!
The main thing about this Love Dare is that it is all based on the scriptures and I am really excited about that. I feel like this is not only going to help me with my relationship with my husband, but, it is going to improve my relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father and show me the REAL meaning of love!!!
So, pretty much what Andrea and I are going to do, is follow the love dare challenge day by day, complete it, and blog about our experiences with it......ready, set, go!
We both have felt like something is "lacking" in our relationships with our husbands, and we think it's because we ourselves as wives, need to learn a different, and possibly, better way to love the most important men in our lives!
I don't know about Andrea (I'll give her a chance to talk about it herself), but for me, I think a lot of my relationship "problems" has to do with my attitude. I've realized that most of the time I expect WAY too much out of my husband when it comes to love and romance. I see all these people around me getting married and how madly and happily in love they are and I think "why can't I have that? We used to be like that once upon a time!" I see friends with their husbands/boyfriends and see how sweet or romantic their guys are to them...I think the worst is Facebook...Girls posting all these beautiful pictures of them with their significant others, or writing posts about how amazing they are...But, I've come to realize that comparing my husband to all these other guys is NOT helping either of us out one little bit! In fact, if anything, it just makes things worse because instead of see all the wonderful things my husband DOES do for me, I see all the things he doesn't, or isn't doing and then feel sorry for myself for not having this fairytale romance.
Reality is, I have a great husband, he does so many things for me and he tries to show his love for me, just maybe not the way I've been expecting!! We do have a great marriage, we ARE in love, and I CAN get that "madly in love" feeling back, I just need to change my attitude and try MY hardest to show my husband my love for him...
Have any of you seen the movie "Fireproof"? If not, you should. I'm not going to sit here and explain the movie...In the movie there is this thing called the "Love Dare" and was a way for a man to create a better relationship with his wife. He did the love dare challenge over 40 days (well, he went on to do more on his own) and it greatly improved his marriage...Well, I found the Love Dare in an app and downloaded it to my iPod and, well, Andrea and I are going to do this for our husbands!!
The main thing about this Love Dare is that it is all based on the scriptures and I am really excited about that. I feel like this is not only going to help me with my relationship with my husband, but, it is going to improve my relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father and show me the REAL meaning of love!!!
So, pretty much what Andrea and I are going to do, is follow the love dare challenge day by day, complete it, and blog about our experiences with it......ready, set, go!
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